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Monday 14 November 2011

Impermanence


Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone

I recently spent some time with my beautiful niece, Nika. Her and I are still getting to know each other. She`s 11 months old. I don`t get to spend much time with her. But she brings a smile to my face whenever I do. Children have a natural radiance about them that reminds me of how impermanent things are. Children have not yet learned how to hold grudges or how to harden their hearts. They cry when they are sad or hurt or frightened... and then they get over it. And, within moments, they`re laughing and smiling again, without even a second thought about what had upset them to begin with. They learn the habits of suffering and resentment from us - the adults that are supposed to be so `wise`. Like little sponges, they model their world after what they see us do and say.

Watching my little niece grow so quickly reminds me of how rapidly, and naturally, things change. Constantly. One moment she`s a tiny peanut that fit perfectly into the palm of my hands. The next minute - she`s saying words and mimicking and learning so much from everything she sees and hears. Children are a symbol for me of the Yoga and Buddhist practice of `Beginners Mind`. Every moment is new, everything is mesmerizing. Even when you present them with the same silly face or the same ridiculous game - every time, no matter how many times they`ve repeated or experienced it, they laugh and celebrate as if it was the first time! I remember recently spending nearly half an hour doing handstands while a friend`s 2 yr old son tossed things at me; both of us laughing hysterically the whole time. And when I got tired, or the moment passed, we simply moved on to the next adventure. Easy. Simple.

You don't really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around - and why his parents will always wave back. ~William D. Tammeus

This fact of Impermanence, when fully understood, really frees us to be completely present in each and every moment. Fully alive in today, this moment, right now. Knowing that, before we even realize it, it`s already changing. Because it`s all fluid and changing. So, holding on too tightly to anything just doesn`t make sense. When we get still enough, and brave enough, to really look honestly at ourselves and really listen to the stories we tell ourselves (and others); many of them are either centered around the past, or what may or may not happen in the future, or what we`ve convinced ourselves about other people`s thoughts/motives - none of which we can truly know for sure. Ultimately very few things that people do that cause us hurt or suffering is ever really personal. It is the manifestation of what they are carrying around within them. The essence of mastering Beginner`s Mind is embracing Impermanence. Letting every day be new, fresh, clear. So when we wake up and take that first step into our day, or unroll our yoga mat for yet another practice session, we meet ourselves, and the day, courageously - exactly as it is. With the innocence and inner radiance of a child, untainted by grudges, resentment or bitterness.

Try this. When you look at people whom you perceived as wrong-ing you, or when you find yourself in a rut - think `Beginner`s Mind`. Be fully present. Feel your feet on the earth. Inhabit your body fully. Breathe. Listen. Feel. Let yourself be renewed by whatever this day brings. Watch and make an effort to observe from a centered place; calmly detached from all your stories and expectations. Life, from what I can tell, is meant to be fluid. Embrace that fluidity. Be like water.

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